I know, I know... Where have I been??

So Merry Belated Christmas! I am sorry I have been MIA for so long. I have thought of many things I wanted to blog about but when it came down to it, it was a pain since our home computer is on the fritz.

Chris and I had a great time in Branson for our anniversary. I can't believe it's already been three years. He is the love of my life, even when he is being incredibly irritating. :) I didn't get to take any pictures because I left without packing the camera. Genius I know... We got to just relax and visit the Titanic museum and see the Dixie Stampede show. It was a lot of fun.

We found out while we were up there that my parents who were dog sitting the "grand pups" had to take Porcha to the vet. She got impacted several inches into her intestines and poor thing had to be cleaned out. On the bright side of that, she came home groomed and matte-free!

We left for Plano to spend Christmas with Chris's family on Wednesday and got to spend some good time with his parents and sisters. It did snow in Plano Christmas eve, tho' I was SORELY disappointed that I missed the most snow OKC has gotten ever!! So sad. We got to share Christmas dinner with extended family which is always such a pleasure. His family is always such fun to be around. We were able to watch as his cousin was proposed to. We are so excited for Megan and Guy and she will be the 3rd cousin on Chris's side of the family to be engaged.

We are back home and so happy to be relaxing before work starts up again. Today is my brother and sister-in-law's 2nd anniversary. Tomorrow is our actual anniversary and we are going to celebrate Christmas with my side of the family. Looking forward to my mom's barley! Yum!!!

Hope you and your family are staying warm! I can't believe the New Year is almost here!

The death of my blackberry...

It's official... well most likely official... my phone has quit on me... two months before my upgrade. Typical. I spent about three hours today running around to different stores trying to get an answer for "JVM Error 102". This is what I woke up to this morning "JMV Error 102", my crackberry was working fine when I went to bed. Now according to the 3rd AT&T store, my 4th trip, it's fried. Of course when I called 611 they ask me if I am retarded, well ok maybe that's an exaggeration but some of the questions are insulting. "Does your phone work?" REALLY?!? Would I be calling if it was working?? So after a lot of suggestions they said I should try downloading from the website again to see if that would reset my phone. That is great and all but what if my home computer isn't working? What if we have a virus that doesn't let us get on the internet? Surely, there is another computer we can use... Oh wait my work computer doesn't let you download anything, the same as my mom and dad's computer. The crappiest of all is that they will give me an exception upgrade(I am due for mine in January) but even though their phone crapped out before two years, if I want the upgrade, I have to pay 75 additional dollars, I don't get the full discount, so I am paying out the wahzoo for a phone I would normally get much cheaper. WTC!!!!

After much frustration I am at home with my stupid phone still on showing "JMV Error 102"... Goodbye calendar, goodbye contact list, goodbye ringtones, goodbye pictures... You will be missed.

OU/TX & Fall Break

I am so thankful for Fall Break! I got to enjoy a lovely day of old family friends and naps and time with my hubby! I slept a long time this afternoon which was much needed as I have been sick since last weekend, I am slowly but surely getting better but the nap today helped SO much! I am so glad that I work at a school and get breaks. I know I am so lucky! After this it's Thanksgiving break and then Christmas Break. :) I love the upcoming holidays. I love being with my family and friends and I love the weather and Christmas music. This time of the year is the best!

On a different note I am really excited to go to the OU/TX game! One of my best friends invited me to go with her, I am so pumped as this is probably the only game I will go to! We are headed down there tomorrow afternoon and coming back after the game Saturday. I am excited to spend some time with Sami! Hopefully the game is good! Go Sooners and for those of you who get one, have a Happy Fall Break, for those who don't, I hope you have a great weekend!

Thanks for reading my thoughts

29

I turned 29 on Saturday. WOW, I can remember a day when I thought that age was old! I don't feel old! :) I had a great weekend. On my birthday Chris got up and my mom and dad and 2nd cousin Lindsey and my best friend Amy came over and celebrated with breakfast in bed! It was yummy, I didn't get to eat a lot because Amy and I were running in the Swazi 5K. We had to be there before 8:30 our race started at 9. It was good, Amy and I completed it in 35 mins and 47 seconds. I am happy with it since we hadn't really trained. Maybe our next one will be faster. :)

I got to celebrate my birthday twice, dinner with Chris Saturday and Sunday afternoon dinner at my parents. I am so blessed to have family so near and family that loves me and supports me during the best and worst of my life.

On a different note I am feelings under the weather. It's probably allergies or a cold from one of the kids at school but it stinks. My throat hurts and it's scratchy. I am waiting for it to pass. Please pass quickly!

I am excited because we have fall break this week! I get Thursday and Friday off! My goal to to repaint our office, but that will be after sleeping in :) Yeah for Fall Break! This time of year I get really excited, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Anniversary! All this coming up in the next months. I love this time of year. Here's to football, hot chocolate and scarf weather!!! :)

Butterfinger Phone App

So I was watching this cute video of a little baby dancing to Beyonce's "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on it) when the funniest clip popped up after it... It was two guys sitting on a bench, one with a butterfinger. The other has his phone and says, "hey check out my new phone app." It then proceeds to steal the other guys butterfinger. So the guy pulls out his phone and says "look at this one"... when the stealer leans over to look at it, the guys hits him in the head with his phone and takes back his butterfinger. I laughed out loud... I hope everone gets to see it, I can't find a website that it is up and running on or I'd give you the link... hilarious though... good times...

Here is the link to the baby dancing...
http://video.yahoo.com/watch/6058308/15744481

I have the right...

I was at a conference a few weeks ago and attended a session on grief. Now this is geared toward children and resiliency but it spoke to me as well. There is a website www.centerforloss.com that has grief rights... there were several that spoke to me as I continue to struggle with IF and the loss of baby Tribuzi a year ago... The two that really spoke to me is I have the right to talk about my grief whenever I feel like talking and I have the right to need other people to help me with my grief. Sometimes I feel like talk to much about what I am feeling and how sad I still am... I feel like people are going to not want to be around me because I talk about it. Needless to say I feel guilty a lot when I do talk to someone about my grief... Those grief rights remind me that it is ok to talk about it! Now it doesn't mean that everyone will listen or that people will say or do what I need them to but the point is I AM ALLOWED TO HURT...

It was a year and a week ago today that we went to our first OB/GYN appt to check on the baby and do an ultrasound and it was a year and a week ago today that we were told that the baby had stopped growing... This past year has been a difficult one there has been too much loss. My birthday is coming up and it too is bittersweet as 3 days before my birthday I had a D&C to remove my sweet baby. Maybe this is why emotions are running high for me right now... I don't know but I sometimes feel that if we are able to get pregnant it will talk away a lot of pain and resentment I feel. Realistically I don't know if that will ever happen. I was blessed with the gift of empathy, I feel deeply and am affected forever by the things, people and circumstances that happen in my life... So a viable pregnancy may or may not change my seasons of grief... Who knows? What I do know is that I need to rely more upon God for strength, I tend to think that I will do a better job than He of planning my life and being strong but when it all boils down, I am weak, selfish and narrowminded. My friend told me last night that God's timing is perfect, my faith tells me this is true but my flesh is screaming "Yeah right!"... I do know that whenever we finally have a baby either biologically or through adoption that child and those to follow it will be so loved! I just wish God would give me the greatest desire of my heart, a child. Maybe that is the problem, God isn't at the top of my list or maybe I just have a screwed up system that needs some serious fine tuning.

All I know is that I am tired of suffering alone... my hope is that I can bond with others who are or have dealt with what I am and can provide support and comfort if to do nothing else than lend an ear.

Do not worry though, my writing will not always be so glum, but you know what? We are allowed to have our bad days, our days when we feel like nothing is going right and the whole world is out to get us. We are also allowed days of hope and joy and fresh outlooks. My God has blessed me with an amazing husband, loving family and fantastic friends. I know that even through my down days I am thankful for the love and support that everyone has given me this past year. I KNOW that I would not have made it without you.

I pray that if you don't have a support system that God places in your path someone who will love and listen to you, cry and laugh, tell you when you are being stupid and support you no matter what choices you make.

Just remember I have a right, so do you.

Love you!

Going South!

I am excited because today after work we are heading down to Plano to see the in-laws... Laura is in town before she goes on her next rotation for med school so we are making a quick trip down to see her, Craig and Diane. :) It will be good to see them, we really didn't get to make any trips down there this summer so it's been a while since Chris has seen his family. We are going to enjoy a good, albiet short, visit.

On a different note, I am so pumped about it being officially fall!!! Even though the weather this weekend will feel more like summer, yesterday was a fall day! We went to the fair last night with some of my good friends the Lawsons and Huntingtons. We have been friends since high school and we had a good time gorging ourselve on fair food... Really, that is all we did... My scale will tell you I ate about two pounds of food last night :) Oh was it good! Plus we saw the BEST MULLET EVER!!! This dude's hair was LONG and he had the thick chops and the business was curly while the party was wavy... John got a sweet pic of it. :) So good times. I also ran into so great friends from college and it was so much fun to talk with them a bit, it brings back such fond memories. Fair=Awesomeness!

Well catch you later!!! Have a great weekend everyone!

It's been a while....

Ok so I have been really bad at blogging during the summer and back to work... I have thought of writing from time to time but then haven't felt like it so I didn't... here is an update of things...

I did a lot of traveling this summer. I visited Portland, Oregon; Roach, Missouri; Columbus, Ohio; Tampa and Orlando, Florida; and Atlantic City, New Jersey. I was busy during June, very busy... July was slower and I got to enjoy swim dates with my best friend Amy and her baby Abigail... I absolutely loved spending time with them and enjoyed all my "Abbytime" I could get. August came too soon and already we have been back to work almost a month... Crazy!

I am ready for cooler weather, today it feels almost cool outside, I love it! I am ready for long sleeves, sweatshirts and beanies! Chris does not share my love of cooler weather... Poor guy!

To update my dream of adding to our family... I called my doctor in July to get an appointment to see what was going on and why we haven't gotten pregnant yet. I went in and did blood tests and the results were that I have low progesterone... I get kinda disappointed that we waited this long when we could have started medication earlier but we can't change the past... I just went through my first cycle of clomid to no avail... It didn't work this time... I told myself not to get my hopes up and I tried not to but I did feel a little disappointed that it didn't work. I guess we will just have to try again. Chris is traveling a lot before December so that can add a kink in our family planning as well. He is such a good husband and so patient with me. I pray that God will be with us during this journey and that He will remind me that I am not in control, He is...

If you think about it remember us in your prayers... babies are being conceived and born all around me and it is a blessing but also bittersweet as I so badly wish to become a mommy. So thanks for any and all prayers that go out after reading this :)


I am going to a conference Thursday and Friday so I am looking forward to that and to finding new things to implement at work and to visit with my counselor friends.

I hope God blesses the rest of your week... Hopefully I will become better at blogging... Peace out.

Sigh... with a breath of fresh air in there somewhere

So these last few weeks of school are DRAGGING!!! March and April flew by and I figured May would too... Oh no, I was wrong!!! Plus other schools are getting out soon, we (OKC public schools) start later in the year so we get out later and with our measley ONE snow day we always have to go several days later so June 2 is officially my last day of school! Yes! Then I get to go to camp with my middle school girls for the last time... sniff, they grow up so fast! Really looking forward to seeing what God does for my girls and myself this year.

The weather outside is gorgeous, thank you Jesus, and it's hard to be stuck inside.

Chris is travelling this week to Dayton, OH for work... it's always less fun when he is gone. I miss my husband when he has to go for work. Love you sweetie!

Working out for the past two weeks has been like avoiding the dentist because you don't want to have a root canal! I don't get it, I was so pumped and hardcore two weeks ago that I dropped two pounds that week, now I have zero motivation to work out or eat right... WHAT'S THE DEAL?!?!? I mean I had a salad for lunch, that is good but the bag of sunchips, a snickers and 5 mini chips ahoy cookies??? See my problem? I can't seem to get rid of sweets, even if I haven't had any in a while I love, love, love em... What's your biggest food trap? Fajitas? Chips? Chocolate? EVERYTHING YOU SEE?? Let me know.

All I know is that today it ends... tomorrow I will choose healthy snacks and stick to it... "today was a eat whatever you want because you want to day"... Here's to tomorrow!

April Overview and May Beginnings

Hello! I know I am not the best at updating our blog, I will try and do better. Most of the time though when I remember I need to update is during the day and therefore I am actually working... Anyways I will try to be more consistent for the few of you that actually check this out.

April - We had a good time this month... We had a friend's birthday dinner at the Melting Pot (YUM!!!), the Gavin Degraw concert, Easter and the 2nd of the cousin weddings in Chris's family (ours was the first).


We helped celebrate Natalie's 30th birthday party at the Melting Pot, oh my word was it delicious!! Especially the dessert! So good!! It was great to get to spend time with her and Jon. I can't believe it's almost been a year since their wedding. Yeah for them!!


I went to the Gavin Degraw concert with one of my best friends Joni! It was so much fun, she really really wanted to meet him so we bought a t-shirt, way cute, and since we spent a certain amount we got to meet him. :) He was really nice and very kind. It is so nice to meet someone who has such a grounded view on who he is and where he came from. We had such a great time, I love getting to spend any time I can with Joni. She is such an amazing woman and I miss her greatly since she lives in Dallas...

Lastly Erin and Brooks wedding was so much fun. It was nice to go to a family wedding and not have to be the one planning things and getting everything/one ready and where they should be. It was my first Catholic wedding and it threw me for a loop... It was such a beautiful wedding and it was great to see everyone and spend time with aunts and uncles, cousins and friends. Erin was such a lovely bride and they made the wedding so much fun. It was too short though... I wish we had a bit more time to spend with the family but we are looking forward to seeing some of them again when we go up to Ohio for Andrea's (Chris's sister) graduation from pharmacy school. We are definitely looking forward to that!

All in all April flew by with state testing at my schools and busy weekends... however there weren't too many showers, that has come in May... so much for April showers...

May started out with a mid-high all-nighter for me... Laura and I have gone the past two years and we enjoy getting to see our girls but it is trying with over a hundred middle school boys and girls... mainly the boys... SO glad I am a girl... the boys are CRAZY!!! I did fairly well staying happy and not grumpy until about 5 a.m and then everything went south... I was ready for bed and had less patience with loud kids... I survived though... once we got done at 7 I went home and slept for three hours before I had a hair appointment at 11, got home and we baby sat for our friends, I stayed up with precious Landry until 3 and then I crashed and slept until I had to get ready at 6 for the JEFF DUNHAM show! SOOOOOOO much fun! He is really funny and I love Achmed the dead terrorist... We laughed so hard, Chris and I really enjoyed it... We didn't get home until 11:30 and had church the following morning but I made it and got to take a nap Sunday afternoon... Loved it!

Last night I had a girls night with my friends from high school, we try to get together at least once every couple of months. It was so good to get to spend some time with them and laugh and hang out and enjoy each others company. We ate at Mama Rojas, it is good but it takes a while to get the food.

Today is Mother's day, I am reminded of how incredibly blessed I am to have such a terrific mother and mother-in-law. My sweet husband got me a card and a gift certificate to Express... for those of you who don't know, I am the proud mother of two sweet dogs. :) He was precious, Chris that is... I love my mom and I am so thankful for all she has done for me in my 28 + years of life... My life has been enriched, stretched and blessed because she has been my mother. I am also blessed to have a mother-in-law who raised my husband with a good head on his shoulders and who has great morals and ideals. She is so kind and thoughtful and I couldn't have asked for a better mother-in-law.

So far May is off to a great start... the countdown has begun to the end of school... only 16 school days left!!!!! I can't wait for summer, I will try and post of pics of April later...

Peace out!

March is gone... here is a overview of our month

Being a school counselor definitely has it's perks, especially one called SPRING BREAK!!! I am so thankful that I have a job that allows time to recoup from tough times... around spring break everything seems to get crazy and people are getting testy, probably due to testing, and by Spring break I am ready for my time to relax. Chris had to travel during SB to Puerto Rico for work so I got to go! It was so much fun to just relax and enjoy the warm weather on the beach. I was sick right before we left but I was able to take some medicine and get some shots so I felt better during our trip. We arrived home on Wednesday and I did absolutely nothing outside of my home Thursday or Friday. I did do some spring cleaning but even that was minimal.

March 28 I went to see the Wizard of Oz ballet with my mother and my friend Stephanie and her mother Jean. I took my mom for her birthday which was the beginning of March. We had a great time, we dressed up and went out to eat and tried not to freeze.

I am ready for April now, we have testing in a week and a half, once testing is over we only have a little over a month left of school. It's amazing how much time flies after SB...

We are also excited for Chris's cousins wedding... Erin is getting married April 25 and we are going to Ohio for that, it will be great to see all his family and enjoy our time together with them.


Looking forward to a great rest of my school year and a terrific summer.

My heart is broken!

Last night was possibly one of the worst nights of my life. My mom called me as I was driving home from work and said that she wanted me to come by and see her. I told her I was tired and I wanted to go home but maybe I would go with Chris when he took Mattie to the vet. She called back a few minutes later and said that she would be meeting us at the vet, she had to take Duli in.

At this point I knew that Duli hadn't been eating very much in anything and she was found lethargic about a week or two ago but they had perscribed pain medication for her.

A little background, Duli is short for Dulile which means precious in Siswati. We got her soon after we arrived back from South Africa. She was my best friend, she licked my tears away when I was sad, she made me laugh when I was angry, she was the best dog! She was 14 years old which is a very long life for dogs...

Back to yesterday, Chris tried to make me stay home and he would come back and get me once they were done with mattie. I told him my mom said she would meet me there. He went to the other room to make a call and wouldn't tell me who he was talking to. I knew something was up. I asked him if he was talking to my parents and he finally answered what it was. I asked how bad it was and he said it wasn't good. I immediately starting crying... It was then that he told me she'd had a seizure. My poor sweet Duli! I asked him on the way if she would have to be put down, he told me probably... that is when the tears really started falling... They haven't stopped really since.

I went to the exam room and took my precious dog in my arms and held her and talked to her and thanked her for being my best friend and for loving me fiercely. We chose to keep her ashes, though we aren't sure what we will do with them yet. I stayed with her until the end, I held her paw while they gave her the injection and I watched her slip away. I am glad that she is no longer in any pain, but I am going to have a whole in my heart until I see her again some day.

Good bye my sweet, caring, funny, precious Duli. I love you!!

Happy Birthday to my Husband!!

Today is Chris's birthday! My family grew up doing breakfast in bed so I got up at 5:30, what an ungodly hour, to fix him french toast and scrambled eggs. He then got to have his breakfast in bed with Porcha staring at the plate ready to grab something if he stopped paying attention. I hope today is a blessed day for him as well as his mother whose birthday is also today. I am looking forward to taking him out tonight for dinner, I hope he likes it!

:)

A sad day

So my team didn't win last night... I thought they played hard and did well considering all the hype about how fast the Gators were. They did their best...

On another note I am glad it's Friday I am looking forward to the weekend. It will be pretty busy with soccer games, cleaning the house and preparing for Sunday. I am looking forward to being back at our home church.

Go Sooners!!!

THIS IS THE YEAR! I am very hopeful... I hope it's a great game, that both teams play hard... I am looking forward to enjoying the game and the outcome! GO Sooners!

Breakdown of the Holidays and New Year

I found out last week I didn't get my Christmas wish... I get pretty down around this time of month. I know God has a plan for us and His timing is perfect! It doesn't help though when I start to feel this way, I get so sad and upset and wonder why all these other people and not me Lord? I guess I just have to keep praying and reminding myself that God has us in His hands and He will provide for me one way or another.

On a different note, we had a fantastic Christmas with my family in Oklahoma City. We had my brother and his wife down from Tulsa and spent the day together with them! My favorite present of the day was my TomTom from my parents! So excited about it! I was even more excited that I got to put it to good use when we went down to Plano the following week! We left OKC on Monday, Plano bound, we spent time with the in-laws and Grandma Tribuzi for the first two days. Tuesday the 30th was our two year anniversary!!! I can not believe how fast time flies. I am so grateful for my amazing husband who loves and supports me, who provides for me and makes me laugh. I look forward to the rest of our life! Back to the story, so that night Chris took me out to dinner at a Brazilian steak house called Rafains. It was fabulous!! Chris got a Wii for our anniversary and I got a beautiful red coat! So excited about it!

On Wednesday, Andrea, Chris's sister, arrived from New Zealand where she had travelled with Uncle Mark. I have to admit I was uber jealous as I really want to see New Zealand. It was fun to see her pictures and places where Lord of the Rings was filmed. New Year's Eve we had some of the aunts and uncles and cousins over for dinner, then Chris, myself, Andrea, Dan and his girlfriend Lauren went downtown to the AA center. I must admit I was frozen and didn't not enjoy the cold and people pushing me around. Maybe next year a little more low key.

Thursday I got to have lunch with one of my best friends and favorite people, Joni. It was her birthday on Wednesday so we went to lunch and I was able to give her the hilarious birthday card I got for her. We had a terrific time! I bought a pair of boots with her, she brings out the shopaholic in me. :) (not that it needs too much persuasion)

Friday we were pretty lazy, which I LOVED, and then that evening Chris, Andrea and I met up with Joni and Dan and Lauren again and headed to a sports bar called Flips. Chris was up way past his bedtime, we were grateful for him sacrificing his sleep to be with us and drive.


Lastly Saturday was uncle Kurt's surprise 50th birthday party with his brother-in-law Dave and father-in-law Wally. We had the most delicious Greek food and had a lot of fun chatting with family.

Chris and I headed back to OKC yesterday, we got in around 4:30 and were so glad to be home and in our own bed. I love family time but nothing beats getting home to YOUR bed.

The New Year has started off well, my prayer for this year is that God will continue to bless Chris and I in our marriage and life in OKC, I pray for patience in God's timing, guidance in molding me into the best person I can be and for peace to deal with whatever comes our way this year. May God bless you and your life, may He always remind you He is never far and may He shower down blessings on you.

Love you!